I am convinced the Statue of liberty is a myth created for tourists to provide them the false perception that this city is welcoming to all when it is in fact not welcoming at all and it is just one large grey concrete mass where you are never further than 5 feet from a rat at any given time in any given place and if that doesn’t sound terrifying I don’t know what does besides the fact that I have never met anyone who has actually been to the Statue of liberty.
I’ve attempted to swipe my metrocard 3 times and nervously look around as I question whether I still blend in and check to see if anyone noticed while I think one day I’ll have the wrist movement down to a T and then the first subway car I enter is empty which is NEVER a good sign as a stream comes trickling down the center from the far-right corner I see it is not water so at the next stop I run and SPRINT into the next car and I am safe or so I thought ITS SHOWTIME resonates from above the heads of my fellow commuters running chills down my spine as the doors close there is no escaping this performer and as a foot narrowly misses my head the performer is upside down locking eyes with me and everything about this situation is normal.
I was too eager to distance myself from the performer I should know no one in New York is eager No one is keen as we feel rushed, late, under-caffeinated, cold, sweaty all at the same time I take an exit that leads straight into the gates of hell as the first thing that meets my ears as I surface is a HEEHEE as a bedazzled glove shoots into the air oh no this is Times Square I usually choose the path less travelled (but never the PATH) to avoid the place where locals are drained of life and tourists are hypnotized by the shiny lights.
Back in my neighborhood I feel safe it is edgy here which means not actually that safe but gentrification looms around every corner yet Alphabet City has all the edge I need because I can be edgy, I think as a sip of my 6 dollar iced chai soy latte and realize Oh no as I recognize someone walking in my direction and avoid eye contact like all New Yorkers as it is unnecessary and we never just run into people we know but what now I'm panicking so right as we cross paths, I take out my right airpod because taking out your airpods is the politest form of greeting in the 21st century and I nod my head, Wassup. What who am I and who have I become and wait is this it Is this --- edgy?
When you come to NY you must consider your workout will consist of holding your basket in line at Trader Joes and you will make eye contact with a squirrel and they will make eye contact with you and you will get nervous because they look like they could mug you and you will become familiar with your seasonal locals, the drummer and borat-bikini man on Union Square in the summer but also the pigeon man in Washington Sq Park in the winter but stay away from him because he will try to hand you a pigeon but never accept a pigeon come to realize roaches are everywhere.